How do you know if you’ve changed?
Well, you can usually look back on who you were, think about what you would’ve done, and possibly even remember how you used to think. The only person that you need to be better than is yourself from the past, and as long as your present self is better, you are making progress, right? But what if there’s a moment you look back on yourself… And realize that this time, they are better than you? Then what? Then what do you do?
What do you do when you’re constantly filled with draining thoughts; when it feels like you’ve just been swallowing rocks your entire life and finally decide to jump into the water? Those rocks weigh you down… It isn’t because you jumped, it’s because of the rocks you had throughout your life… What do you do when you feel like jumping in the water? What do you do?
What do you do when you feel selfish and ungrateful? What do you do when you feel that people would rather have Past You instead of Present You? Is there anything to do?
Is there anything to do when you’re being reassured you’re not a problem, but circumstances clearly show that you are? What about your plans?
What if your plans are inconsistent with happiness? What if your two-year plan makes you a miserable person who wants to lay down in the middle of a busy road? What if your two-year plan makes you an unstable person who struggles to get out of bed every day in the morning? What if… What if…
What if the simple fact you feel these things makes you even more miserable? What if it makes you feel selfish and ungrateful and pessimistic? What if most of the time, people are smiling and being nice, but you break down the minute you hear a complaint? What if… What if…