Pain. I often pride myself in not feeling hate towards people or things, but I greatly dislike pain. I am used to the idea and feeling of suffering, as it makes me grow, however, I cringe at the knowledge that throughout life, I will cause many people pain.
The fact is that you cannot please everyone and be yourself at the same time. “A friend to all is a friend to none” was once said by Aristotle, and I cannot agree further with that. People come filled with a variety of good qualities and bad, and if you appeal to everyone’s good qualities, you are ignoring the times you appeal to someone’s bad qualities, meaning that in a way, you are never truly appealing to people at all. You are not a true friend if you are a friend to all. You must have standards.
With this, comes pain. When you cannot please someone, the best course of action is to often avoid contact, given that you don’t get along anyway. Sometimes it’s a little too late to realize that incompatibility is a thing, and other times you don’t realize because you don’t want to. Closing your eyes to something that has moments of happiness will not erase the memories of pain. It is during this moment, pulling away might cause pain, and I feel that is the one thing that I truly hate: Causing people pain.
I feel that I am comfortable with knowing that I will feel pain as well. That is normal. That is expected. Life is full of suffering in between all of its amazing moments, but there is suffering. Pretending to not see it just makes it harder. Others, however… It pains me to see others suffering. It tugs at my heart and makes my chest hurt. It squeezes my heart so tight that I can barely breathe sometimes with the mere thought of the pain someone else is going through, and it’s only worse when I know that I am the cause of that pain… a pain caused by self-preservation.
Following that, I avoid pain, not necessarily for myself, but for others. When possible, I do my best and I try my hardest to not hurt people. Unfortunately, sometimes, it looks like people just like being hurt…
If I could ever bring myself to hate anything, it would be to hate bringing bad feelings to others.