We’ve Both Grown

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We’ve Both Grown since the last time we talked.
I feel that we would get along if we tried,
But the past is the past and what happened, happened.
I cannot suddenly become what I am not.

We both have a way with words, you inspired me with mine,
You spill your feelings onto pages, I pour my feelings into life.
Still, we were different, you were there, and I was not.
We could’ve been different friends, but not this time.

You are not a bad person, you are a kind soul.
You needed friends for comfort, I needed them for more,
I wanted a solution to my heavy burdens,
My venting was not victimizing, I didn’t want that role.

I wonder how your life is, if anything has changed.
I think about the stories that together we left behind.
I miss them, I really do, for those pages became real.
One day I’ll bring them back, at least that can be arranged.


I Am More Than One

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I am so many things
I am much more than one.

I am an absent friend.
I am a lost dream.
I am the poison in someone’s heart.
And I am the bad reason for everything.

I am also a supportive friend.
I am the perfect imperfection.
I am the light to someone’s day.
And I am the good reason to keep fighting.

But I used to be much more.
I used to be so many.

I was a dedicated, vampiric mother.
I was a drunken, bipolar father.
I was a neglected child.
I was a nine-tailed sorcerer,
Cursed by his mother.

I was a passionate magician.
I was an arrogant dragon rider.
I was a schizophrenic teenager.
I was a happy ex-slave cheetah,
Along with her canine son.

I was a short, lesbian gamer.
I was a sadistic succubus.
I was a shadow demon with morals.
I was a girl eager to please,
Like the golden retriever inside her.

I was a rich, gay brother.
I was a territorial wolf mother.
I was a cuddly, biting tiger.
I was a hot-headed island native,
With the power to control water.

I was a dragon searching knowledge.
I was a flamboyant, gay bartender.
I was a wanna-be guard jaguar.
I was a genderless angel,
And his kinda female daughter.

I was an odd-eyed, smug leader.
I was a scorched, but strong warlock.
I was a ex-prince who loved an assassin.
I was an elf without a heart,
In a realm of friendly Gods.

I used to be all of these.
I used to go by many names.
I used to live in different worlds
All to let out various pains.
Through these lives that I created,
I would feel the things I hide,
That once were buried deep inside.

I used to be all these people.
I used to put on these masks.
I used to have all their problems,
In favor of forgetting about my own.

I am so many things,
But I used to be much more.


I Used To Be Nice

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I used to be nice
I used to care a lot more.
I used to worry about
People would feel.
I used to watch myself
Monitor my words.
I used to carefully pick
Choose every single thought.

I used to care
The hurt and wounded.
I used to hold them
Tell them it’s okay.
I used to reassure
It was meant this way.
I used to apologize
Saying something mean.

I used to care about
People think.
I used to wonder
To make someone smile.
I used to fight
Defend another’s right.
I used to give a fuck
Someone had a pout.

Now I’m laughing
Saying stupid things.
I’m making black jokes
My kinda black friend.
I’m pointing out flaws
All my best friends.
I’m giving out burns
Whoever makes a mistake.

Now I don’t care
People being dumb.
I don’t give a shit
I’m just having fun.
I manage to laugh
Jokes about death.
I somehow find humor
I realize I’m bad.

I used to cry
My friends in pain.
I used to try
In my reach.
I used to be afraid
Never rolled the dice.
A long time ago
I used to be nice.


I Tempted Fate

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I am a simple man, there’s not much I need.
I don’t believe in true happiness, I believe in temporary relief.
I haven’t done a lot to think too much of me,
But by some miracle I don’t believe, came the girl of my dreams.
It must be fate, this had to be set in stone.
Now, with every chance, I must confirm she is my own.
I pushed her away, and she came back, every single time.
This is fate, this is true, no matter what, this girl is mine.
I’ll make her happy, someday I will, I’ll begin to try.
She believes in something I don’t have, but she doesn’t lie.
I must be better, I will be better, at least someday I will.
For now, all I can really do is push her away,
Just to see if fate will truly make my dream girl stay.
It worked, many times, she never left my side,
But there’s a point where even fate is unable to abide.
I tempted fate too many times, life is but a trail,
With many paths we all can follow, and many chances to fail.
I thought fate was on my side, and I tempted it too much, it seems,
And now another man is loving the girl of my dreams.