Life is Full of Surprises

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Life is full of surprises. I don’t know if I would compare it to a box of chocolates given that the boxes I’ve seen usually have pictures and descriptions of the chocolates inside. There isn’t really something I would find worthy of comparing life to. It is a very unpredictable roller coaster. That’s the closest I can get. It makes you want to scream, it can put a pit in your stomach, and it can make you terrified of going on, but it can also be addicting and make you wanna keep it up.

Life isn’t a constant moving roller coaster though. For some people, it stops in the middle of a plateau and takes a while to even move. For others, it’s the biggest roller coaster in the world that makes you scream not because you want to, but because you have to or you might throw up.

Some people, like myself, aren’t the biggest fans of unpredictability. I’m fine with the roller coaster as long as I can see when it’s going to spike, turn, go upside down and all that stuff. I can adapt; I’ve been doing that my entire life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the desire to pick what kind of roller coaster I’m riding.

There’s a lack of certainty in life that makes me often feel on edge. What’s going to happen tomorrow? What if it’s the rainy day you’re still only beginning to prepare for? What if life throws you a punch you weren’t yet ready to deal with? Even the people around you aren’t certain. Anything can happen and you never know what your last words to them will be. They aren’t permanent in your life and that’s… terrifying. Even if you get married and agree to spend the rest of your life with someone… what about accidents? Assuming it all goes well, there’s still accidents, health concerns, financial instability… how can you ever prepare or not feel breathless when life throws you a curve ball when you weren’t prepared for it?

You can’t prepare. That’s the thing about life. Even if you’re trying to prepare for it, often times things will happen to make it even harder. Life wasn’t made to be stagnant. We have to appreciate the Air we breathe and the things we feel because you don’t know how long any of that will last. You don’t know anything for sure, and that’s terrifying…

If I had to be terrified though, at least I can be terrified with the certainty that it’s never going to get easier, just a better story to tell. No one enjoys a boring story, right?

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Let Them Go

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There is something oddly satisfying about the need to break ties. I have avoided burning bridges for as long as I can remember because I used to truly believe that you need to be there for someone at their worst if you want to deserve them at their best. The truth is, I still stand by this. However, this doesn’t mean I will remain at their side when it proves detrimental to my health or when, for some reason, I’m not enough.

I can count to a number higher than one where I have done my best to support someone, listen to them, defend them, and cherish them, only to be spoken of behind my back—and not with pleasant words. It comes to that time that I wonder: If all I did was support them and do my best to be a friend… and this happened… then do they really deserve my friendship?

I’ve learned that it’s important to have standards in your relationships, not only romantic, but in your family and friends too. Don’t let people take advantage of you. Don’t let people disrespect you. Don’t let people put you down. It’s okay to have fights and misunderstandings, as long as you remain true to your standards.

When someone doesn’t meet your standards, you have two choices: you leave or you lower your standards. For years, I went with the latter option. I lowered my standards into the ground so I could remain with the people I cared about. I came up with excuses for them, defended their actions, and forgave them mistake after mistake after mistake. There came a point where I realized… I deserve better.

So now, when I come across a relationship that I know won’t last because they are falling below my standards, I am not afraid. They move on too. Very few times am I actually missed.

There is, however, nothing more satisfying than leaving someone behind knowing you didn’t necessarily leave them alone. They will be okay without me.

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That “Something” Fire

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What is your fire? Where does it come from? What makes your passion burn?

What’s your mission? Who do you fight for? What do you do afterwards?

I am here to serve, and I am here to live. I am here to show everyone it’s  okay to give a shit.

I know not everyone likes me, and I’m okay with that. People just don’t understand what I’m going at.

I feel my past judges my future, and present worries of the past, but nothing, and I say nothing, can make the concern last.

For I am strong and indestructible.

I am powerful and sincere.

I am the strength of my soul, and the solution to my fear.

I will stand up and I will conquer all of those around me; for I will love them and I will honor, the wonderful power of free will.

But listen to my words, listen to them inspire…

What are you without love? What is hope without a “something” fire?

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To Whom It May Concern

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To Whom It May Concern,

I was born with one certainty in life: I am going to make a positive difference in the world. I knew for as long as I can remember that my purpose was to help the world. Call it instinct, divine mission, or just my passion… but that is what I’m here for. Regardless of what you believe in, I know this is what I believe in almost more than I believe in myself.

See, I change. Every day, my opinions change and evolve, my thoughts run wild and crazy, perceptions get altered with more experience, but the certainty that I have to do something amazing is always there. It doesn’t matter what happens, who I meet, or who I become in the end… I will do whatever it takes to accomplish my soul’s deepest desire.

I am here for this and I will do this regardless of whoever or whatever gets in my way. I will write, I will sing, I will storm the world with everything I have to say in hopes that the ones that hear me will have a brighter day. I will fight for more than just myself, I will fight for everyone that needs a helping hand. We are not in this world alone. We do not live here alone by ourselves. We are surrounded by brothers and sisters, not biological, but spiritual, energetic. Is it wrong to care about your species? Is it wrong to care even more so about all the Earthlings we share this planet with? Caring should never be considered a wrong answer, and that is what I think.

Here I stand, sit, and lay down staring at the world around me, feeling my heart burn and pulse with the immense desire to help others, yet at this present moment, I need to build up my strength to do so. With great change and power, comes great responsibility. I am that strong, but I must be stronger. I must know more, I must learn more, so that I can have the necessary tools to reach a larger group of people around me.

For now, I start small. I change the lives of those I know while trying to build up my strength. My journey is a long one, but I am dedicated to it every part of the way. Nothing can stir me from my path. Nothing can make me shy away from my biggest goal. I expect many to try to stop me, mostly those who are scared of light or those who have skewed opinions of what I am trying to do, and for those, I apologize, because there is nothing you can do to break me.

Sincerely,

A Person With A Mission

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Sonder

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There are so many things that happen every day. Lives come and go with each passing second all around the world. The people around me live lives just as complex and detailed as mine, yet some of them are just a background character in the back of my life, appearing only once as an extra who decided to be there where I was while I was there.

Every day, new thoughts emerge, new ideas are created. There is a new future in constant development, being affected by so many people you are completely unaware of. There are young teenagers putting together bands and practicing with their hearts on their sleeves, and some of them will become well known. There are people discovering their passions and goals in life; finally figuring out what makes them be the way they are.

Without much thought, it’s easy to forget that there are people suffering. There are hearts being broken every day, but there is also love being found all around the world. Some of them will last years, others will last days or months, and some will last until they die, but all of them are continuously occurring without our recognition. The world continues to spin on its axis regardless of our awareness.

All around the streets, cities, states, and countries, there are animals being born, stories being created in areas that we will never explore underground, in the sky, among the lakes and seas. Trees grow ever so slowly and every day it’s safe to assume that a large chunk of trees collapse and then begin to decompose so new things can grow. On the flip side, there are also seeds sprouting, saplings growing, plants fertilized…

Life is all around us, whether we are aware of it or not. Everyone, not just those around me, has a complex life and story of their own. Every face I see and every person and creature I pass has a unique story that only they are writing. Life is all around us.

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Amenity Friend

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I make you smile
And I make you laugh.
I stay a while
When I lend my ear.

I’m not worth much
And I’m not that special.
You can feel my touch
When you’re close to tears.

I’m not always there,
And I’m not always bad.
Look at me as the spare
Friend you forgot to pack.

Just like a toothbrush
In your bathroom
You forget it in a rush,
So I’m the amenity friend.

I’m not the friend to keep,
I’m not the one to care about.
I’m just there when you’re weak
And your real friends are gone.

Not real enough to defend,
Because I’m the spare back-up.
I’m just an amenity friend,
There for your convenience.

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Best of Pains

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I’m here to share with those you hate
I’m here to spread around the words
I’m here, though sometimes late
But I’m here, no matter what

I’m here, so count on me
I’m here to ruin everything
I’m here to punch you in the face
And I’m here with pain to bring

I’m here, with all the cost
I’m here, with nail and tooth
I’m here to yell at you,
Greetings, I’m the truth

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